Silvia Club of NSW

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain he pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. (THIS ONE ALWAYS BUGGED ME!)

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ~~~~
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they
are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Hahahahahaha its funny coz its true...

_________________
"The opinions expressed by QIK180 are not necessarily the opinions of anyone"

Do we? I'm not in america, are you?

no .. but its a joke ..

Here's just a few more for you boys:

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

On the other hand, you have other fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty (I don't get this one)

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted
then used against you."

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and
blamed it on the cost of living.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
some one would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It recently was discovered that research causes cancer in rats

Everybody lies but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here 'cause I could use a few.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Nice one pammie

_________________
Co-Founder, President & Webmaster
mayhem@silviansw.com - www.silviansw.com
Why drive when you can drift?

Yeah I don't understand the Buffalo one though... whats that bout?
And what do buffalos have to do with chips?

isnt there something to do with buffalo chips??? just an idea, i'm as stumped as u!!!!

_________________
I love the smell of SR20 in the morning

who knows. What are buffalo chips?

similar to buffalo wings?