Silvia Club of NSW

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 4:57 pm 
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Twin T51
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Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2005 12:47 pm
Posts: 1011
Location: Broken Hill
Car: freakin' mirage
1. commodore

A large, prehistoric family sedan, sold in Australia by Holden motor company.

As technologically advanced as fossilized wood, they are a very user friendly car for the simple minded, thus, common in Australia. Equipped with a slow, noisy, automatic transmission and either a "rattletec" 3.8L v6 designed in 1988 or an even older 5L pushrod v8, the pitiful power per litre figure is reflected by its inherant lack of fuel economy or reliability.

Although it handles like a bag of mollasses, this barge is worshipped by bogans for is ability to allow even physically and/or mentally disabled drivers to do burnouts. Usually performance mods consist of 17 inch chromies, altezza taillights and 2 subwoofers. The younger owners usually purchase the cars due to a lack of intelligence, funds or pride. Thus, the car earned the nickname "conformadore".

Holdens "performance" line, "HSV", fail to realise that slapping a bodykit on a family commuter does not make it a sportscar.

Claimed to be an iconic Australian car, engines and drivetrains are sourced from american company GM.

WOW! a one handed burnout? must be a commodore.

That convoy of commodores is driven by 18yo virgins.

The commodore understeered into a tree at 20km/h, lucky it wasnt a good car.


3.

A car released by Holden, a sub company of the Intergalactic GM Empire.

This model car has questionable integrity, safety and security systems.
People are often reffered to as 'Commodore' drivers as an insult, similar to the way that Volvo drivers are.

Another popular name for these cars are 'Commonwhore', symbolic as they are very common and f**k you over.

(After seeing someone run into the gutter or tailgating someone else) "Oh look, a Commodore driver!"


4.

An Australian car powered by an Australian 3.3 Litre 6 cylinder engine (later models injected) from 1979 to 1985, from 1986 onwards the Commodore has maintained an image of "The Australian way" despite being powered by an overseas powerplant.

In 1986 ("VL" series) the smooth Nissan 3 Litre 6 was introduced, this engine even today continues to compete with the best of the newer Japanese breed (reference to the turbocharged model avalible in the VL lineup, highly admired by "Muzza"'s).

Late 1988/9 saw the introduction of the VN series, powered by the dated Buick 3.8 Litre V6, many saw the VN series as a step backwards as it lacked the refinement and sporty appeal of the VL and earlier series. The characteristics of the VN (and the later VP) series are primary defined by it's boat-like handling and acceleration qualities.

The next new engine to be introduced came late in 2004 with the Alloytech 3.6 Litre, highly anticipated however this engine failed to deliever as it is easily outperformed by the superior Ford 4 Litre inline 6.

The Holden Commodore is loved by the majority of Australians however due to it's "bogan" image it is commonly disliked, however this dislike is usually projected from those who claim to be in the Import Scene however are too young (often 15 and younger!) / too poor (drive a civic or pulsar etc) to afford a high powered Japanese Turbo import.

Holden has plans to axe the commodore line in the coming years.

"Aww yarh lets mozy on down to the corner shop for some smoko k shazza?" - reference to the 1979-85 model Commodore.

"Oh mah gawd! have yous seen the momo's in Habibs new vl turbz uleh?! i swear to gawd they is the sickest thing this side of chapz!"
reference to the 1986-1988 Holden Commodore.

"Check it mate, my phat 'exec' has the style to pull all tha bitchaz, spesh with all the neon lights n sh*ts that i has put in 'her"
Reference to the 1989-1992 Holden Commodore.

6.

a car thats security locking system is more primitive than that of a prehistoric caveman tribe
so easy to break in to that it should be renamed the holden communist, as once one is purchased by an individual it doesnt belong to them for more than 5 minutes after leaving it in a carpark. and being stolen and returned severel times in the space of time it would take to withdraw $20 from a reliable ATM

if you are in australia you will notice as you drive on the highways cars ditched on the side of the road. this is a phenomenon that occurs all over australia, and 90% of those ditched cars are holden commodores

7.

Prerequisite for owning this car, is a loving for AC/DC, Whitesnake and Winfield Blues.

A bogan brigade of 17 year old males in VL 6 cylinder Commodore's can be seen, frequenting 'white trash' locations, such as Car Lovers car wash's, and large fuel stations, seen with there bonnets up checking out their 15mm race leads and admiring the motor Nisan gave them. Also seen with them is their skanky skinny, blonde, 'straight from the trailer park' girlfriend, normally b**ch slapping her gf's, trying not to spill her Bundy as they arguing about who is the father of their baby.

Owners of the GenIII varient Commodore, when vacationing, can be seen typically every few hours pulling into a fuel station to top up their oil, oil to fuel filling ratio for a Commodore is 2:1.

Did you see the 4" exhaust on that Commodore ?
My 6 Cyl Commodore will keep up with a Ford V8 Supercar, because its a Holden !

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:13 am 
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Banned

Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 6:28 pm
Posts: 309
Car: s13 silvia
thats exactly right ur a legend :D
you have put my thoughts into words!!!!!


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:29 pm 
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T25

Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:22 pm
Posts: 1
Car: TURBO VS
Real Name: rdx due
Really you was having a very nice thoughts..
and it very impressive...
chassis


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